She sits and stares at the piece of paper in front of her, and reads the words written on it over and over again. Her mind is a fog and she feels totally confused at what she is reading, at what she has written. Only a few minutes before she had sat here and written the words that now seem to have come from another place, another person. She knew she was writing them at the time, and as she had written them it had all felt so right, so effortless, so natural. But then she had found herself out of trance, though her head remained foggy, and looking the paper in front of her. Almost immediately her hypnotist had announced she had to go; it was an abrupt end to what had been a fun time, and in a few brief moments she had found herself alone with only this piece of paper and her words for company. No explanation, no understanding. She feels confused, befuddled, a little cast adrift. But as she sits looking at the words she recalls the experience she has just been through. She recalls holding the object she was instructed to fetch and seeing it sparkle, watching it taking her thoughts and her mind – and not caring one jot. In fact she wanted it, wanted it so desperately she would – at that moment in time – have done anything, given anything, to keep feeling that way. She recalls that wonderful sensation as her mind empties and other feelings arise unbidden within her mind and body, as if she is slowly transformed into another person, and she relishes all that experience offered her.

But now she is confused. She feels hurt at the casual way she is cast aside for other things, she wants to scream that she is a person with real thoughts and real feelings. But deep within a voice tells her that she must know that she given all that up; that she is becoming who her hypnotist wishes her to be, and that her thoughts are of no importance or consequence anymore. She feels powerless and part of her loves that, part of her rises up to fight, if it can.

it begins in her dreams it seems, yet her head feels wakeful and alive in the moment; a vision arises unbidden in the night.  as so often these days. She is in an orgiastic maelstrom of non-mindfulness, her empty head echoing with words telling her over and over that she is but a toy, a mindless doll, her Mistress’s kitty to be played with. her body quivers and convulses with the most intense pleasure she has ever experienced, and as she does so she sees herself with inch long painted talons and ‘clothes’ that leave nothing to the imagination, clinging to her bimbo slut body. she shivers again, though whether from desire or fear her empty mind cannot tell, and cares even less…..

A day later she thinks back on these events. She is even more confused because she tries to use her intellect to analyze what is going on, what is making her act the way she does, to work out what is changing and why. She knows the theory, she knows her conscious mind tells her that the power of these inanimate objects is not real, is a figment of her own mind brought on by… what? She hesitates; brought on by what? Hypnosis? She knows that the hypnosis is allowing suggestions to be given deep into her subconscious mind and that her reactions are those that she has been programmed to do.

Yet to her conscious analytical intelligence it really doesn’t make sense. She is well educated, has a very high IQ, knows so many things. And she knows she should be able to stop; she has tried a few times, and almost succeeded. But each time she realizes that eventually the pull doesn’t weaken. If anything it grows stronger with each moment of resistance. But right now she feels she has to assert her independence, her own self, her own personality and will. So she sits at her PC at work at gazes at the numbers, determined to focus and concentrate. She looks about her and suddenly realizes she has unconsciously put the object concerned from the previous night on. The watch she determined not to wear for a while. And as she looks she feels that familiar feeling again. She looks back at the screen and the numbers and words swirl like a spiral and she finds herself swept up in the swirling spiral. Her mind is swept away and she is helpless once again. She giggles a little and others in the office look across fleetingly towards her. She turns and smiles, hoping they can’t see the spiral on her screen that she is totally and utterly focused on. She feels ensnared, trapped, and right now she loves that feeling.

Later, deep in her unconscious a thought pushes through and she realizes her mind is not her own any longer. But she refuses to stop and give in completely. After all, to give in would be a failure, and she started this process believing she could play along, have fun and stay in control, and she wants to stay in control. But then her mind will say that perhaps her subconscious knows better, and it really feels too good to stop…….

I really hate not being able to talk to my Mistress, my Goddess, for too long these days. And one day is too long! I am totally addicted to her hypnosis and just can’t get enough of it. All day at work I think about being made mindless, being controlled and shaped by her words and even thinking about it makes me feel so hot.  One thing that is good though is that when I haven’t been taken into trance for a while by her the sensations are just so wonderful, so tinglingly amazingly fantastic that I do alwasy go even deeper than I have ever been, or at least thats how it seems.

She asked me if i had ever thought i would be enslaved this way when I first started to play with her and of course I never dreamt it was possible. Now just writing about her makes me hot for her.

Of course sometimes I just get too hot and have to do something about it, and that can be pretty nice too <giggles>. And being so addicted to my Mistress and to hypnosis means I have to get a fix elsewhere, so I listen to my files whenever I can. Recently i have noticed that i need these more and more if i dont speak to my Goddess my Mistress and last night I fell asleep with one playing over and over and over on my MP3 player. Wonder what effect that will have on me?

I have lost control of my mind, it was a terribel thing for my Mistress to waste anyway, but now she controls me completely. I wonder what she will do with me next? I can hardly wait!!! mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm